Saturday, February 24, 2007
many many things to talk about throughout the week.
besides all the angbaos and laughter that i had,
something happened during the chinese new yr holiday period
which made me quite depressed.
the mother of my aunt died on the 2nd day of CNY.
she is a unbeliever.
i feel so devastated.
nobody whom i am close to have left me yet.
and i don't know how the extent of the grief of separation would be.
but when i know that my aunt's mum isn't going to be with God eternally,
the sense of sadness made me want to cry.
i can't imagine how affected i would be if someone close to me
passed away and he or she isn't a believer.
i think i would be overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow.
i don;t know how am i going to handle that.
the amt of angbao money i collected was not bad.
quite satisfied with the amt after saving half of it.
i'll come up with a list of what to spend on soon man.
so that i'll put my money into gd use.
hehe.
i started watching hana kimi during CNY cause i was SO BORED at home.
pui wah recommended me to watch it and in the end......
i got hooked by it.
that always happens to me. i'm use to it alr.
the plot is super gd man.
and the actors and actress are hilarious!
i started falling in love with Wuzun.
he's cool + cute.
haha. it has been so long since i have a real crush.
i wonder how long will it last.
and now almost my whole caregroup is crazy over hana kimi.
puiwah, mila, claire and i all love hana kimi.
so happy and exciting man! we all like the same thing.
now i'm praying that mon will come soon so that i can watch epi 14 of hana kimi.
mon i have geog test too. so crappy.
there's a lot of study and i hope that the test wouldn't be too difficult.
there's physics test on wed too.
man. God, please help me to be discipline so that i can study.
thank you God....
Friday, February 16, 2007
haven't been posting for a week!
that's pretty long for me.
but it's not my record.
service was held today instead of tmr.
i was serving for CNY service today and
i struggled in this area again.
i hope i'll get out of it soon.
seriously, giving all your best for God but not for the people is not easy.
i want to do well to have the satisfaction of mixing a gd sound.
it's for the pleasure of my own, but not for God.
Not for the benefit's of God's people.
I constantly remind myself that what i do will impact people's life
and that i am doing all these things for God but time after time
during service, the thought of satisfying myself with good sound
came to me again. and when i don't do a gd job eventhough i did my best,
i'm not please with myself. I know that as long as we are at our best,
God would be please with us, but i'm jus not happy.
perhaps i'm an perfectionist, or more pobably that i'm not seeknig to please God.
i so dead. i must get of this mentality or else i would continue thinking that i'm
not good enough.
anyway, i love these 2 songs we sang in service today.
Promises and The voice of hope.
these 2 songs rocks man.
one makes me even more enthu for God.
the other makes me become veyr emo for what God had done.
it's highly recommended by me!
i was late for sch today.
i was so angry with bus 174!!!
i woke up at 6.45am, reached the bus stop at 6.55.
and the bus came at 7.30am!!!!!!!
i wouldn't be late if i have taken a taxi.
but i was too kiam siap this morning.
i didn't feel like spending money.
so in the end i was super late for sch.
and wheni reached sch, there was a emergency drill!!!
gdness. so i got to gather with the rest of the sch at the field.
the gd thing was i didn't have to explain to the teacher in class why i was late.
i was suppose to report for CWO today after sch but i couldn' find the teacher in charge.
and after spending a long time looking for her, i finally gave up and jus went to nexus.
so pek chek. i think i would have to do 2hrs of CWO after chinese new year instead of 1hr.
hai......
i finally admit to myself and to God that i'm a person who dwell a lot in the past.
i like to think of the past, be it joyful memorises or heart aching ones.
i jus like to think of them. so when i make mistakes, sometimes i find it very
difficult to forgive myself even after asking forgiveness from God
and knowing that he has already forgiven me. i jus keeping thinking of my errors
once in a while. it would take me a long time to let go of it.
and when happy things comes into my life, i would have think of them once in a while and
just smile. i would also keep on thinking of my acheivements if i do have any.
so my goal for the this year is.... look forward!!!
Friday, February 9, 2007
I don't know if God will say yes to my prayer
but if the answer is no, i'll be very sad.
but i know i will get over it soon.
cause i know God will one day say yes
in his timing. perhaps not today,
not tomorrow, but one day, he will.
I'm still very scared now and i don't know what to do.
i jus feel veyr miserable.
God, i want.....
i don't want to give up again.
Jus go away, stupid mr Tan.
stupid satan.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
i feel so refresh now.
i have a new conviction.
when u give up it's gone.
it's such a simple thing and
i never really realised it till now.
or rather, yesterday.
it's jus the power of God's work.
i felt guilty for giving up on
so many poeple too.
as if so many people's life have died
in my hands.
man, i don't want that feeling.
i've jus set my goals for febuary.
and i've shared to somebody about
my goals. i seriously aim to fulfill them
and grow bit by bit.
a victorious life is my life.
hehe, yet to see, but it'll come.
Friday, February 2, 2007
why am i afraid to let others who aren't
in church, see my faith?
is there something wrg with me?
or is this fine?
it is definitely not right nor is it gd for me.
they might not comprehand, but i
shouldn't be afraid of their judgement.
Adonai.
I twisted my ankle while playing volleyball.
and now i couldn't walk properly.
but it mght not be veyr obvious to everyone
that i wasn't walking in a normal way.
i doubt i can jump tmr during service.
bleh.... so irritating.
the amath test was a killer today.
i wouldn't even dream of passing it.
i think i could only do 1/3 of the paper.
or worst, only 1/4.
this is a bad way for the teachers to let us
improve man. i'm so demoralised now.
giving us difficult papers might be a gd strategy
for us to do well in Os as Os most probably won't
be so difficult, but it's really too tough. :(
Social studies lesson yesterday was super funny!!
gdness, mr Lee tried to imitate Rain in his concert
and it was hilarious to the max man!!
all of us were laughing incontrollably.
and i laugh till my phlegm came up to my throat.
i didn't know he could be so humorous.
and i still smile when i thought of the way he had spoken.
gdness gracious!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
many many things to talk about throughout the week.
besides all the angbaos and laughter that i had,
something happened during the chinese new yr holiday period
which made me quite depressed.
the mother of my aunt died on the 2nd day of CNY.
she is a unbeliever.
i feel so devastated.
nobody whom i am close to have left me yet.
and i don't know how the extent of the grief of separation would be.
but when i know that my aunt's mum isn't going to be with God eternally,
the sense of sadness made me want to cry.
i can't imagine how affected i would be if someone close to me
passed away and he or she isn't a believer.
i think i would be overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow.
i don;t know how am i going to handle that.
the amt of angbao money i collected was not bad.
quite satisfied with the amt after saving half of it.
i'll come up with a list of what to spend on soon man.
so that i'll put my money into gd use.
hehe.
i started watching hana kimi during CNY cause i was SO BORED at home.
pui wah recommended me to watch it and in the end......
i got hooked by it.
that always happens to me. i'm use to it alr.
the plot is super gd man.
and the actors and actress are hilarious!
i started falling in love with Wuzun.
he's cool + cute.
haha. it has been so long since i have a real crush.
i wonder how long will it last.
and now almost my whole caregroup is crazy over hana kimi.
puiwah, mila, claire and i all love hana kimi.
so happy and exciting man! we all like the same thing.
now i'm praying that mon will come soon so that i can watch epi 14 of hana kimi.
mon i have geog test too. so crappy.
there's a lot of study and i hope that the test wouldn't be too difficult.
there's physics test on wed too.
man. God, please help me to be discipline so that i can study.
thank you God....
Friday, February 16, 2007
haven't been posting for a week!
that's pretty long for me.
but it's not my record.
service was held today instead of tmr.
i was serving for CNY service today and
i struggled in this area again.
i hope i'll get out of it soon.
seriously, giving all your best for God but not for the people is not easy.
i want to do well to have the satisfaction of mixing a gd sound.
it's for the pleasure of my own, but not for God.
Not for the benefit's of God's people.
I constantly remind myself that what i do will impact people's life
and that i am doing all these things for God but time after time
during service, the thought of satisfying myself with good sound
came to me again. and when i don't do a gd job eventhough i did my best,
i'm not please with myself. I know that as long as we are at our best,
God would be please with us, but i'm jus not happy.
perhaps i'm an perfectionist, or more pobably that i'm not seeknig to please God.
i so dead. i must get of this mentality or else i would continue thinking that i'm
not good enough.
anyway, i love these 2 songs we sang in service today.
Promises and The voice of hope.
these 2 songs rocks man.
one makes me even more enthu for God.
the other makes me become veyr emo for what God had done.
it's highly recommended by me!
i was late for sch today.
i was so angry with bus 174!!!
i woke up at 6.45am, reached the bus stop at 6.55.
and the bus came at 7.30am!!!!!!!
i wouldn't be late if i have taken a taxi.
but i was too kiam siap this morning.
i didn't feel like spending money.
so in the end i was super late for sch.
and wheni reached sch, there was a emergency drill!!!
gdness. so i got to gather with the rest of the sch at the field.
the gd thing was i didn't have to explain to the teacher in class why i was late.
i was suppose to report for CWO today after sch but i couldn' find the teacher in charge.
and after spending a long time looking for her, i finally gave up and jus went to nexus.
so pek chek. i think i would have to do 2hrs of CWO after chinese new year instead of 1hr.
hai......
i finally admit to myself and to God that i'm a person who dwell a lot in the past.
i like to think of the past, be it joyful memorises or heart aching ones.
i jus like to think of them. so when i make mistakes, sometimes i find it very
difficult to forgive myself even after asking forgiveness from God
and knowing that he has already forgiven me. i jus keeping thinking of my errors
once in a while. it would take me a long time to let go of it.
and when happy things comes into my life, i would have think of them once in a while and
just smile. i would also keep on thinking of my acheivements if i do have any.
so my goal for the this year is.... look forward!!!
Friday, February 9, 2007
I don't know if God will say yes to my prayer
but if the answer is no, i'll be very sad.
but i know i will get over it soon.
cause i know God will one day say yes
in his timing. perhaps not today,
not tomorrow, but one day, he will.
I'm still very scared now and i don't know what to do.
i jus feel veyr miserable.
God, i want.....
i don't want to give up again.
Jus go away, stupid mr Tan.
stupid satan.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
i feel so refresh now.
i have a new conviction.
when u give up it's gone.
it's such a simple thing and
i never really realised it till now.
or rather, yesterday.
it's jus the power of God's work.
i felt guilty for giving up on
so many poeple too.
as if so many people's life have died
in my hands.
man, i don't want that feeling.
i've jus set my goals for febuary.
and i've shared to somebody about
my goals. i seriously aim to fulfill them
and grow bit by bit.
a victorious life is my life.
hehe, yet to see, but it'll come.
Friday, February 2, 2007
why am i afraid to let others who aren't
in church, see my faith?
is there something wrg with me?
or is this fine?
it is definitely not right nor is it gd for me.
they might not comprehand, but i
shouldn't be afraid of their judgement.
Adonai.
I twisted my ankle while playing volleyball.
and now i couldn't walk properly.
but it mght not be veyr obvious to everyone
that i wasn't walking in a normal way.
i doubt i can jump tmr during service.
bleh.... so irritating.
the amath test was a killer today.
i wouldn't even dream of passing it.
i think i could only do 1/3 of the paper.
or worst, only 1/4.
this is a bad way for the teachers to let us
improve man. i'm so demoralised now.
giving us difficult papers might be a gd strategy
for us to do well in Os as Os most probably won't
be so difficult, but it's really too tough. :(
Social studies lesson yesterday was super funny!!
gdness, mr Lee tried to imitate Rain in his concert
and it was hilarious to the max man!!
all of us were laughing incontrollably.
and i laugh till my phlegm came up to my throat.
i didn't know he could be so humorous.
and i still smile when i thought of the way he had spoken.
gdness gracious!
