Friday, February 16, 2007
haven't been posting for a week!
that's pretty long for me.
but it's not my record.
service was held today instead of tmr.
i was serving for CNY service today and
i struggled in this area again.
i hope i'll get out of it soon.
seriously, giving all your best for God but not for the people is not easy.
i want to do well to have the satisfaction of mixing a gd sound.
it's for the pleasure of my own, but not for God.
Not for the benefit's of God's people.
I constantly remind myself that what i do will impact people's life
and that i am doing all these things for God but time after time
during service, the thought of satisfying myself with good sound
came to me again. and when i don't do a gd job eventhough i did my best,
i'm not please with myself. I know that as long as we are at our best,
God would be please with us, but i'm jus not happy.
perhaps i'm an perfectionist, or more pobably that i'm not seeknig to please God.
i so dead. i must get of this mentality or else i would continue thinking that i'm
not good enough.
anyway, i love these 2 songs we sang in service today.
Promises and The voice of hope.
these 2 songs rocks man.
one makes me even more enthu for God.
the other makes me become veyr emo for what God had done.
it's highly recommended by me!
i was late for sch today.
i was so angry with bus 174!!!
i woke up at 6.45am, reached the bus stop at 6.55.
and the bus came at 7.30am!!!!!!!
i wouldn't be late if i have taken a taxi.
but i was too kiam siap this morning.
i didn't feel like spending money.
so in the end i was super late for sch.
and wheni reached sch, there was a emergency drill!!!
gdness. so i got to gather with the rest of the sch at the field.
the gd thing was i didn't have to explain to the teacher in class why i was late.
i was suppose to report for CWO today after sch but i couldn' find the teacher in charge.
and after spending a long time looking for her, i finally gave up and jus went to nexus.
so pek chek. i think i would have to do 2hrs of CWO after chinese new year instead of 1hr.
hai......
i finally admit to myself and to God that i'm a person who dwell a lot in the past.
i like to think of the past, be it joyful memorises or heart aching ones.
i jus like to think of them. so when i make mistakes, sometimes i find it very
difficult to forgive myself even after asking forgiveness from God
and knowing that he has already forgiven me. i jus keeping thinking of my errors
once in a while. it would take me a long time to let go of it.
and when happy things comes into my life, i would have think of them once in a while and
just smile. i would also keep on thinking of my acheivements if i do have any.
so my goal for the this year is.... look forward!!!
Friday, February 16, 2007
haven't been posting for a week!
that's pretty long for me.
but it's not my record.
service was held today instead of tmr.
i was serving for CNY service today and
i struggled in this area again.
i hope i'll get out of it soon.
seriously, giving all your best for God but not for the people is not easy.
i want to do well to have the satisfaction of mixing a gd sound.
it's for the pleasure of my own, but not for God.
Not for the benefit's of God's people.
I constantly remind myself that what i do will impact people's life
and that i am doing all these things for God but time after time
during service, the thought of satisfying myself with good sound
came to me again. and when i don't do a gd job eventhough i did my best,
i'm not please with myself. I know that as long as we are at our best,
God would be please with us, but i'm jus not happy.
perhaps i'm an perfectionist, or more pobably that i'm not seeknig to please God.
i so dead. i must get of this mentality or else i would continue thinking that i'm
not good enough.
anyway, i love these 2 songs we sang in service today.
Promises and The voice of hope.
these 2 songs rocks man.
one makes me even more enthu for God.
the other makes me become veyr emo for what God had done.
it's highly recommended by me!
i was late for sch today.
i was so angry with bus 174!!!
i woke up at 6.45am, reached the bus stop at 6.55.
and the bus came at 7.30am!!!!!!!
i wouldn't be late if i have taken a taxi.
but i was too kiam siap this morning.
i didn't feel like spending money.
so in the end i was super late for sch.
and wheni reached sch, there was a emergency drill!!!
gdness. so i got to gather with the rest of the sch at the field.
the gd thing was i didn't have to explain to the teacher in class why i was late.
i was suppose to report for CWO today after sch but i couldn' find the teacher in charge.
and after spending a long time looking for her, i finally gave up and jus went to nexus.
so pek chek. i think i would have to do 2hrs of CWO after chinese new year instead of 1hr.
hai......
i finally admit to myself and to God that i'm a person who dwell a lot in the past.
i like to think of the past, be it joyful memorises or heart aching ones.
i jus like to think of them. so when i make mistakes, sometimes i find it very
difficult to forgive myself even after asking forgiveness from God
and knowing that he has already forgiven me. i jus keeping thinking of my errors
once in a while. it would take me a long time to let go of it.
and when happy things comes into my life, i would have think of them once in a while and
just smile. i would also keep on thinking of my acheivements if i do have any.
so my goal for the this year is.... look forward!!!
